ze squid

ok, so about this new job of mine.

joey, my dear friend of many years, is quite smart. in fact, much more so than i. for this reason, Kaplan hired him to teach MCAT classes for $20/hr. that's ballin.

but joey already had a job. and he needed to name a replacement. and that lucky replacement? CORRECT! me. so, i am the official squid breeder of the "Stabb Lab" [thats right. my boss is dr. stabb. the squidologist.]

so, i am solely [with about 6 other people, all with much more important titles than mine--one girl is called the squidmaster--and they do way more important things than i do] responsible for the lives of 6...nay, 5 [we recently lost jezebel] adult squid and around 8 clutches of squid eggs. you can imagine how high-stress this environment is, what with all of these lives hanging in the balance....

i have named all but one of them so far. i refuse to let ashley name any more of them, cause the last one she named died. anyway, here they are, with some interesting facts about each.

161: Bill Clinton. bad at hiding. has inked on me more than once. biggest one. male. ripped jezebel's head off while they were mating on valentine's day.
162: Dwight K. Schrute. alpha male. insatiable. jackhammer. also bad at hiding. inked on me today.
169: Yuengling. female. young. made it through the valentine's day mating with Dwight. hoping she'll lay soon.
165: Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. our heaviest egg-layer thus far. also inked on me today.
168: hiding from me. has yet to be named. suggestions welcome by all [except ashley]
164: the late Jezebel: quite the hussy. doesnt even bother to hide in the sand. bill clinton ripped her head off on vday.

more to come on the squid saga. today i spilled a bucket of de-ionized water on myself.